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July 27, 2010

a few months back my favorite Mexican companion and I were talking about the qualities he looks for in a love interest, while rattling off the regulars …”smart, funny, good conversationalist, has her own style, not too skinny,” he threw in a Vancouver special that at the time really cracked me up , “….. has a nice bike.”  I started laughing right in his face and asking him what kind of crazy breed of hipster had he become but he protested, “..no seriously, last summer I met this girl, she was ok and all but then I saw her bike….it was really nice, so I hung around. Bike’s are important, I’d never date a girl who rode an ugly bike “

….this is something to ponder.

it came up again the other day on our way to Wreck beach, a totally different buddy and I stopped to chat for a minute and something in the conversation led to him saying , “no offense but your bike isn’t particularly stylish…”

Yeah yeah, this isn’t the first time I’ve heard this but it’s not like my bike is heinous, in fact it’s really not that bad looking at all, it’s somewhere between a city bike and a mountain bike and it’s awesome to ride but this quite obviously  just isn’t good enough.

To make a long story short; that afternoon when leaving the beach I discovered that someone had broken my gears, this was thankfully fixed the following week. However, just yesterday i walked outside to find my bike and lock severely mangled….someone had tried to steal my unhip bike. That night, after some handsome firemen helped me cut my lock off I discovered that this person had not only made my bike more unattractive by practically wrapping it around a pole, but they also busted my entire front break….the UNIVERSE is telling me to get a new bike…even the universe is realizing that perhaps I can’t find an attractive young man who can hold my attention for more then 2 minutes because of my undesirable bicycle.

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You know what is most desirable after a long, hot bike ride?

A glass of Viognier.

ca c’est mon nouveau ami Rascal. il es vraiment mignon et delicieuse.

One friend also mentioned “not a bad drunk” in his list of qualities…well…one down…one to go.

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the best part is i’m now in love with my new bike, it makes me  feel like a new woman.  i spend my evenings tuning it, cleaning it;  i’ve got some new tape for the handle bars….it’s the summer love affair i’ve been looking for. one that grows when you nourish it. it’s got thinner wheels, suicide breaks and needs some work but i’m willing to learn, i’m willing to try. heck maybe one day, i’ll be willing to learn, willing to try…before it’s too late and the trying and learning no longer counts no matter how good it could be now;  how you’ll try or what you’ve finally learned.

i’m a free bitch baby….i don’t wanna be friends.

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