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February 14, 2011

I waver between being two very different people when it comes to love. To some, I’m their rock of cynicism, the slap in the face that brings them back to reality and plays devils advocate to every reasoning they put forward in justifying wrong doings in their relationship. I’m not a pessimist, I’m just like everyone else, we’d all rather our friends learn from our mistakes, understand how we went wrong and stop themselves before they do the same. But consequently, we’re all the same, we all need to feel it for ourselves, break our own hearts, fuck up our own relationships to know for sure, that in our case it would turn out just as it does every other time – because it’s hard to sleep wondering , what if this one time it hadn’t?

While to others, the one’s that have heard me utter some of the most embarrassing thoughts and secrets one could ever imagine leaving the mouth, of someone whose heart you deemed made of coal; i’m a reluctantly obvious hopeless romantic. The kind that most people, that are self proclaimed romantics don’t even come close to.

so bad, that i’m actually writing a book about the aftermath of my last relationship. embarrassing? nah, therapeutic.

The truth is, anyone that claims to be something up front is probably a far cry from it. As is true in most relationships – no one ever really wants what they claim to want, because the second we get what we want we no longer want it. It’s more what we seem to be – bipolar, indecisive, clingy, self involved, fickle, scarred, cautious.

A tug of war between who we feel we need to be right now and the person we were to previous lovers who happen to catch us before the downfall.

two of my favorite love songs on repeat, by some incredibly talented people.

please never stop making music.

While everyone is busy posting love quotes and pictures of couples…
lets take a moment to remember our friends – the ones who will never stop loving us and never leave us, no matter where they are.

but at the end of the day, we need to learn to love being with ourselves before we love someone new, someone borrowed or someone true.

2 Comments leave one →
  1. gillian permalink
    February 14, 2011 3:36 pm

    love this. love you.

  2. February 16, 2011 10:58 am

    I almost cried when I saw the photo of Jim and Kermit. I feel we are always so much on the same wavelength despite being so geographically apart, it is uncanny.

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