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February 14, 2011

I waver between being two very different people when it comes to love. To some, I’m their rock of cynicism, the slap in the face that brings them back to reality and plays devils advocate to every reasoning they put forward in justifying wrong doings in their relationship. I’m not a pessimist, I’m just like everyone else, we’d all rather our friends learn from our mistakes, understand how we went wrong and stop themselves before they do the same. But consequently, we’re all the same, we all need to feel it for ourselves, break our own hearts, fuck up our own relationships to know for sure, that in our case it would turn out just as it does every other time – because it’s hard to sleep wondering , what if this one time it hadn’t?

While to others, the one’s that have heard me utter some of the most embarrassing thoughts and secrets one could ever imagine leaving the mouth, of someone whose heart you deemed made of coal; i’m a reluctantly obvious hopeless romantic. The kind that most people, that are self proclaimed romantics don’t even come close to.

so bad, that i’m actually writing a book about the aftermath of my last relationship. embarrassing? nah, therapeutic.

The truth is, anyone that claims to be something up front is probably a far cry from it. As is true in most relationships – no one ever really wants what they claim to want, because the second we get what we want we no longer want it. It’s more what we seem to be – bipolar, indecisive, clingy, self involved, fickle, scarred, cautious.

A tug of war between who we feel we need to be right now and the person we were to previous lovers who happen to catch us before the downfall.

two of my favorite love songs on repeat, by some incredibly talented people.

please never stop making music.

While everyone is busy posting love quotes and pictures of couples…
lets take a moment to remember our friends – the ones who will never stop loving us and never leave us, no matter where they are.

but at the end of the day, we need to learn to love being with ourselves before we love someone new, someone borrowed or someone true.


January 26, 2011

Whenever I’m with you
Something inside starts burning
and my heart’s filled with fire

Stop this – it’s got a hold on me
I said this ain’t the way it’s supposed to be

It’s like a heatwave burning in my heart
I can’t keep from crying
Tearing me apart

Whenever he calls my name
sounds so soft and plain
right then, right there
I feel this burning pain

This high blood pressure’s got a hold of me
I said this ain’t the way love’s supposed to be

It’s like a heatwave burning in my heart
I can’t keep from crying
Tearing me apart
Whenever I’m with you
Something inside starts burning
And my heart fills with fire

Something’s got me amazed
Don’t know what to do
My head’s in a haze
It’s like a heatwave burning in my heart
I can’t keep from crying
Tearing me apart


Upper     east     side     collegiate     gone     awry.


the  HEAT WAVE  sessions with Elly & Ally

all photos property of Alexine Mcleod.
words by Martha and the Vandellas

January 14, 2011

what exactly is my problem? I haven’t posted a word in over two months but I’ll stay up till odd hours of the night trying to change my God forsaken header. Something i’ve definitely done several times over the past few months. I’ve realized that a lot of times, much more then I let on, I worry about the aesthetic rather than the content. bad practice. bad form
In fact, I haven’t posted in so long that they’ve changed stuff on me, they’ve changed the things you can do when you write. Is this a punishment? Am i being punished for never writing so they’ve decided to take features away and save them for those who actually use them on a daily basis…..i wish someone had warned me.

oh….no…wait….GOT IT.

man….2011 feels good….its feels like stuff is just going to work, everything is just going to do what it’s supposed to do, like as if 2010 was just a bad dream and it never happened and that 2011….is going to do just that…happen. everything thus far just feels right, like everything is just going to sort itself out and there’s no need to worry or be concerned – everything is as it should be and will continue to be like that, and honestly – whats the WORST that could happen… if you just start to do all the things you need to do without worrying about what will happen when times get hard, or if you say all the things you’ve needed to say out loud without worrying that someone will walk away, someone will never come back, someone will think you’re crazy – lets be honest here…it’s a little too late for that.


I feel like this guy, like i’m just going to go for it…at least that way I can say i did it, i tried it. i’ll either be living proof of the power of optimism and energy or die trying.

vancouver in real life…

the reality of life on the west coast…
a series of photos taken by my talented friend Natalie Robison
styled by yours truly


1. Wilfred scarf, my grandmothers hat, Joe fresh high waisted knickers
2. Dress and turban created on set, vintage vest, Pyrrha necklace

consumed by SJP’s quote, half way through the winter I did in fact start dressing like a farmer. I found this incredible sweater and hid in it from the cold, from reality, from heart ache. I’ve worked in it, slept in it, cried in it and danced in it. i’ve yet to seduce any one in it, but the year is young.

it’s made me want to channel the ever classic twiggy…

some takes better than others…

but tomorrow comes an end to the time of twiggy,
tomorrow I chop it off in favor of a little mia, michelle and mulligan.

November 5, 2010

the worst thing in the entire world just happened…i shrunk my favorite cardigan.

i don’t care how stupid anyone thinks that sounds, whoever these people are they’ve obviously have never owned an amazing cardigan; a possession that is so rare that i actually quit everything i was doing because honestly couldn’t muster up the strength to go on tonight.

It was in my top five favorite pieces of clothes. maybe even in my top three. it was this beautiful heathered oatmeal, merino wool. I just keep replaying all the times i’ve worn it over and over in my head realizing that i’ll never get to wear those outfits ever again because there’s nothing to replace it with.

i am so incredibly devastated.
i’m going to go lay on my couch and stare angrily at the glow of the Patchouli candle i bought this afternoon that i was promised smelled very strongly like Patchouli. quite obviously it does not.

heart broken. fuck everything.

Previous Post

October 7, 2010

being an insomniac to a degree such as mine causes you to do the weirdest stuff….like subconsciously lay in bed with your eyes closed “pretending” to sleep for hours and hours on end.  sometimes you dose off,  but when you wake up again, its like you haven’t been asleep. I haven’t been up this late in ages due to my day job which has caused me to forget  that things i want to say and intelligent pieces I want to write only come to me during night owl o’clock.
Don’t get excited.  This is not one of those intelligent pieces.
This afternoon I came home after work, ate way too many pastries, drank a pint of thick, freshly squeezed apple juice and curled up on my couch for a brief 5 minute cat nap. I awoke 5 hours later feeling sweaty and fantastic.

I have this thing where I find an art piece I love;  be it installation, spoken word or exhibit and I fall in love with the artist based on this piece, only to research and research them to discover that this is the only type of such piece and that they’ve never created anything like this before and will probably never again do anything similar.

I can’t believe I haven’t shared this on here yet.  My favorite Ted talk.

one of the sexiest men alive.
all i want him to do is write mind boggling puzzles for me to listen to on repeat day in and day out but alas this is his only piece of this kind. He’s fluent in sign language and ancient Greek, he’s written children’s pop up books and been a guest host on many a random show, but none of it has ever come close to this talk.


i found this dress last fall upon seeing the Spring Summer 2010 Marni collection. Something about the print just screamed …Consuelo!!!  at me. I had all these plans to have it tailored into a slim little shift dress, but summer came and went, i spent it out on the beach and never got to it.

vintage dress, misc coat found at a warehouse sale, club monaco belt and scarf as turban, chanel costume earrings.


summer romance will be back before we know it, in the mean time I’m going to find a way to wear this floral smock.



This is an excerpt from a book made by Vancouver based photographer Tristan Casey. I searched high and low for a copy online till i realized it wasn’t a hugely mass produced book. I’m hoping he still has some kicking around.




October 6, 2010

doesn’t he just look like the sweetest little guy…the kind of wolf you’d encounter sitting on your neighbors front porch early in the morning dew, giving you a knowing wink that you two have an understanding that yes, he is a wolf and yes, he knows your secrets.

Wilfred crepe silk cocoon blazer, quintessentially hip wolf tee, thrifted/deconstructed levi’s



if you’re in Vancouver and not seeing the incredible show they’re going to play on Saturday at the Media Club you’re missing out on something that will most probably alter your current understanding of happiness.

Did you know that polar bears are careful to cover their dark noses while hunting because they know that this is the only thing that keeps them from being completely camouflaged in the bright white snow?  But how do they know their noses are dark?
Did they catch their reflection one day in the water…or notice it on other polar bears?
One of the cutest mysteries of life.

video by The Lab Magazine. get in there.


September 20, 2010

First and foremost; a quick jaunt back to last years Spring collections… in one of my first blog posts in October of last year I went on this extended rant about how I didn’t have a clue what Marc was up to at Louis Vuitton and how the Marc Jacobs proper collections were starting to look more refined while the Louis Vuitton collections were looking more and more like Marc every season. The Spring 2010 collection was a mixture of bike shorts, neon colors, furry clogs and essentially everything you could think of that has nothing to do with the Louis Vuitton house. The tassels, the absurd afro’s; I wasn’t impressed and had no idea why no one else was making as big a fuss about it as I was. But as it turns out, I’m not entirely nuts; someone close to the source wasn’t so sure about it all either..

a snippet from the Katie Grand interview from Industrie;  she too thought, if even for just a brief moment, that something was very off. But it’s true, when you’re a stylist or a consultant you need to take risks, you need to get people to pay attention, to be glued to whatever it is you’ve produced, otherwise what are you there for?
Needless to say, Louis Vuitton is back to it’s roots and Marc Jacobs continues to saunter on in high gear with everyone a buzz about his reference packed retrospective collection drenched in warm reds and golds, sheer luminescent fabrics and a handful of 70’s sass.

A collection that was “beautiful” and “fun” but like every season… not really my cup of tea. I love Marc as a person and really do appreciate his work but I’ve never been touched by it on a deeper level the way some seem to fall into a flurry of nostalgia and waves of mixed emotions every time he unveils a new season. Often times the adoration of his line is reminiscent of high school days when the popular kid is praised as an artist if it turns out they’re not half bad with some paint,a canvas and a style just campy enough for people to be intrigued by the difference between the person and what they produce.
Like every other girl on the planet I went through the Marc Jacobs phase;  you buy all the Marc by Marc nonsense your credit card can handle, you become obsessed with the cute cartoonie girl with sunglasses on your t-shirt and pine over The Stam bag for months and months on end only to settle for one of those nylon totes and some bangles. I’ve been there, I love Marc and I admire the well oiled Marc machine but I’ve nothing of sincere admiration to say about his line and thus I’ll leave it for someone else.

A collection that I do want to talk about however, designed by someone I would absolutely never  want to talk about is Michael Kors.  I have no love that guy, no admiration, nothing.  He’s too tan for a New Yorker, he spends too much time with Heidi Klum and together they take themselves far too seriously. I have no interest in his MANY  mid range lines and will never understand why anyone would ever want to wear anything with his name on it but…..every time…..EVERY SINGLE TIME…..every time I see Carmen in a new Michael Kors ad I think to myself….I may hate your clothes Michael but if I didn’t know any better….your ads would make me want to buy them.

Mario Testino for Michael Kors Fall/Winter 2010

I generally don’t even like most of the clothes ads, except this season here happens to be an exception. The stole with trench look, the cashmere tapered sweatpants, the super low cut vee tucked into a skirt – all these are right up my alley now a days.  Otherwise however, I don’t want anything to do with Michael’s image – it’s always lots of beige with a pop of pink or yellow or in the case of this season, the under dog;  green, which he’s done before anyways. I’m never drawn to the Americana looks designers like him produce but every season, without fail, I want the life that Carmen has in those clothes.
As if the clothes give her that life. As if I had that camel coat, I too could have that hair and crisp autumn air romance.  I want it bad.

I knew I’d been growing up for a while now; all this hating of campy details and playful prints is a definite sign of some sort of burgeoning maturity. My growing collection of loafers, the constant purchasing of two of everything that fits like a glove, the continuous search for the perfect black or white t-shirt; these were all hints to my inevitable fate…  but i never knew the day would come that I would like, and feel the need to express, my adoration for someone as oatmeal as Michael Kors.

There is nothing I love more than relaxed high end luxury. I’m the kind of girl that sports sweatpants with stilettos, a crepe silk blazer and some worn out old white t-shirt. Its incredible how everything in this collection is flowing – even the leather. You can tell just from the photo how buttery it must feel and how well its going to break in. I generally hate skirts with slits on the side or in the front – nothing screams tacky like a slit up a floor length dress and in my opinion only one person can still pull of that look – Jessica Rabbit . These here slits aren’t made to be provocative but rather perhaps to make it easier for you to sit cross legged at the beach after wearing it out to dinner.

What I love about this collection however is the lifestyle that comes with it. More and more New Yorkers are digging into the West coast (Hello Proenza Schouler resort!?) for the gypsy vibe from which you can almost smell the sea salt…but always with a sophisticated twist; a starched button up shirt, a trench resembling British Burberry ways and a loose yet sexy crew cut style on top. Michael; having been the all American King of Beige for several decades now has it all out of his system. He’ll never leave me and my new found.. some would say boring.. ways.



The reason why I was both drawn and intrigued by Michael’s collection is because I feel like that’s what everyone was expecting Alex to grow into. He may be young and creative and just getting his feet wet but by the reaction of many writers trying to not say anything too detrimental it seems like everyone thought he would forever stay the same achromatic, luxury jersey, leather and khaki designer. He was the new safety net… but we spoke too quickly.

This may not be what many were hoping for but its thankfully a far cry from the velvet and pinstripe surprise we were all hit with last season. Its not a wear head to toe sort of collection but as always the outerwear is going to hit the ground running.  Same goes for the sheer blouses ( with doodles!) , sickly sorbet metallics and sling back booties – …the man can do no wrong with a shoe.

check out the pleats on those turquoise pants – I see those pockets and the weight and volume of that cropped bolero and I think to myself, I’d bare having paint in my hair to run with this tribe.  This is the kind of collection that, if you don’t look closely enough to the details, you’ll get lost in all the white on white and distracted by the glimmering sea foam.

Many seem to not be that thrilled but have a closer before you write him off as some experimental youth – THIS IS TOTALLY AN ALEXANDER WANG COLLECTION!! …filled with everything we love about him…

all photos in this post (unless otherwise noted) from